Keeping Your Cool When You're Suspicous Of Your Spouse Cheating
One of the hardest things you have to do when you think
you're being cheated on is to keep your cool at first.
The biggest blunder most folks make when they feel their
partner's having an affair is to accuse them based on
suspicions.
This always backfires.
Accusing your other half of wrong doing without having any
real proof, does nothing but harm your chances of finding
out the truth.
It ends up alerting them to be more cautious about their
activities, and any chance of you knowing the truth
evaporates quicker than water in the sahara desert.
You've got to keep your cool till you find real proof of
the affair.
Otherwise you will prolong the time it takes you to know
what is really going on.
Keep cool!
you're being cheated on is to keep your cool at first.
The biggest blunder most folks make when they feel their
partner's having an affair is to accuse them based on
suspicions.
This always backfires.
Accusing your other half of wrong doing without having any
real proof, does nothing but harm your chances of finding
out the truth.
It ends up alerting them to be more cautious about their
activities, and any chance of you knowing the truth
evaporates quicker than water in the sahara desert.
You've got to keep your cool till you find real proof of
the affair.
Otherwise you will prolong the time it takes you to know
what is really going on.
Keep cool!
posted by Tim Denio at
9:22 AM
1 Comments:
Tim,
While my experiences with the cheater were some time ago - she's now married to him with three kids, and I am in my second LTR since, with my own wedding planned for later this year - I can echo the thoughts and feelings that you discuss here, and wish I had your words in my ears back then. No matter how level headed one is - and I considered myself to be the poster child of this skill - infidelity is a killer of the soul, causing one to forget rational thought, forcing one to abandon self in exchange for justification that will never be satisfied.
I chose to walk (after two or three years) of misery, which in itself shows the ability an affair can have on the rational mind, so I cannot speak of what it might be like to try to survive the scar while living in a post-affair relationship; but I can speak of the need to look within - and I am positive that it relates to either result.
Only when you look within and effect positive changes about yourself can you begin to heal and be ready to have a relationship with anyone, including the no-more-cheating spouse. The reason is the the pain of the affair cripples the faithful into emotional uselessness. Recovery from that is the hardest of tasks because you're being asked (by yourself) to do it when you're least capable.
I don't know what the answers are, but I am sure that continued writing and communication - like your site - are part of the solution.
Thanks,
Raymond
www.readyraymond.com
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